Talking Allergies

New here and would like some tips on socializing etc.

We have just found out a week or so ago that our 11 month old daughter is allergic to milk, egg and nuts. We are debating whether to throw her a 1st birthday party with concerns on how to keep our home allergy free especially with the little visitors touching her toys (as she puts everything in her mouth). Any thoughts as how to deal with visitors? What is the etiquette for visitors - do you politely ask them to wash their hands upon arrival and no kisses etc? Do you serve the allergic foods (kind of hard to eliminate all milk and egg products at party)?

I would like the home to be the one place where she can be itch free.

_________________
mother of 11 month old daughter with milk, egg and all nuts allergy

First off....Welcome .
Our son's allergies started at 6 months so I know what you are going through.
As far as your home, we keep our home as safe as place as possible for our son, he's 2 1/2 now and still puts things into his mouth. I want as you mentioned to keep this a safe place and not have to worry about trace on toys etc. from my child's own toys. In general I do ask people to wash hands who come into our home. It isn't difficult as if we allow them in usually they are good friends and just as protective of our son as we are. Another rule is no matter what our son's room is off limits, that includes adults also. I don't want to worry about him touching something right before bed which may cause a reaction.

As it is her first birthday (exciting) I assume anyone who you would invite is a good friend or family. If you do choose to have a gathering at your home I would put out a small amount of toys and all others are off limits. This way you are able to wipe anything which is played with. Let any kids know that if they do play with something to leave it in say a laundry basket so you are aware to wipe wipe wipe!!

Regarding kisses. Our son has been off limits to kisses as his first very severe reactions were all from us kissing him after we ate certain foods. Right from a little guy we taught him to just put his forehead on ours as a kiss (that is only with my husband, daughter and myself). It has all the love of a kiss as that is all he's ever known. As he's a bit older now he will kiss my husband or myself on the cheek but he won't go near other people's faces to kiss. All others including grandparents etc. get high fives. This avoids contact with not just food trace but any cosmetic/lotion/perfume someone might be wearing as that also will bother him.
Even now at playgroups other parents encourage kids to hug after saying sorry etc., I only allow a sincere and enthusiastic high five from our son.

Food, well that is your comfort zone. If you choose to have all the food safe for your daughter in case she gets into something that is completely acceptable. I know what it is like with a toddler and never knowing what they will pick up and put into their mouth. You have ever right to do what makes you feel comfortable, this party is about your daughter's exciting big day, you need to feel able to relax and enjoy the day.
There are many parents avoiding milk who will have great recipes for you including a birthday cake I'm sure. Egg our son has outgrown but I never had any issue baking anything without them. I used for one egg.... 1 1/2 tbsp.veg. oil, 1 1/2 tbsp. water and 1 tsp. baking powder. This is good for a recipe with up to 2 eggs. If you need more than that just make the recipe in smaller batches. My cakes, bread and muffins turned out perfectly. Milk I can't advise on...but Susan and others will great tips on substitutes.

Birthday party aside you will find amazing parenting tips on this site. The parenting of school age and toddler was just recently divided. Skim through both in case some of the articles pertaining to little ones is still posted under the school age.
Once again WELCOME!!

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish

The only thing you really need eggs and milk for is the cake, right? So try Guardian Angel.

http://www.guardianangelfoods.com/

It is free of eggs, milk, (and peanuts and nuts). But full of flavour. We bought the chocolate cake. It's small, but so rich - there's no way I could have eaten a large piece. Even the smell is heavenly.

~~

I'm not sure where you live. They are available in Metro Food Stores. I'm trying to check their web-site to see what other stores carry them, but the links are not working properly.

Anyway, their cakes and other products are in the bakery section of the store - near where you would order a cake. They are usually in one of those freezers with no door -- shaped more like a chest then a traditional store freezer.

_________________
self: allergy to sesame seeds and peanuts
3 sons each with at least one of the following allergies: peniciilin, sulfa-based antibiotic, latex, insect bites/stings

Great advice so far!

Party food:
I would suggest simple finger foods such as fruit, veggies and a homemade dip. You can serve sandwiches (I use Dempsters Smart bread) cut into triangles, Grissol bread sticks (check the ingredients -it's been a while), PC Alphabet Pretzels, plain potato chips, tortilla chips and salsa, Pinty's Chicken nuggets...

Cake
There are plenty of egg and milk free cakes in the recipe section. Here are a few links:
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=884
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=3356
viewtopic.php?f=25&t=3278

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy and green beans) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: Oral Allergy Syndrome, Allergic to Birch trees

Thanks for the tips.

I am leaning towards no birthday celebration. My husband feels strongly that we should have a bday party as this is the norm for our circle of friends. Also, it is difficult for us to limit the friends that come over as we are invited to their places and more complicated as his brothers are also part of this circle of friends.

I feel guilty for even thinking of not have a birthday for her. Any thoughts?

BTW, I just called Guardian Angel foods and they are not shipping to Metro Ontario.

_________________
mother of 11 month old daughter with milk, egg and all nuts allergy

Our daughter's first birthday....let me describe it. Driving on the trans Canada, an 18 hour straight through drive to visit the grandparents. Midnight rolls around, we wisper happy birthday but not too loudly as we still have 12 hours to go in the car with a one year old. Mmmm, no guilt.
With our son we had a couple families over to our home just for cake, more because our daughter was so excited for his birthday that she had pretty much invited them over herself the week before. For food we did a few small things and I made the cake myself.
Whatever you decide, here's the good news. There will be hundreds of other 'things' you do to cause her to need therapy over the years, talking from the experience of having an almost 11 year old.....not having a huge first birthday will not be one of them. Get used to this look, girls master the eyeroll by age 3!

_________________
DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish

It eems like yesterday my daughter had her first birthday, she's 16 months now. We did have a party, about 25 people came and kids came too, we served Guardian angel cake, fruits and vegetables. For a dip we used hummus, we had cut pita bread, tostitos, salsa and juice. Everyone who came was asked to wash their hands when they got here. The kids that came played with easy to wash toys like mega blocks and hard plastic toys, the others I put away and soaked them in the tub after with a touch of bleach, just in case. Even though everything was safe, no food was consumed in the toy room. It was easiest for me to do that. I have a good recipie for a milk/egg/peanut/nut free chocolate cake if you want. My family (including gradparents) ask me to make it for all occasions, and they love it. If you're interested I could post it.

_________________
Daughter 3.5 years) - Dairy, Eggs, Peanuts, Sesame, Beef; asthma and eczema
Daughter (2 years) - Peanuts Eczema
Son (7 months) - Contact allergy to something food undetermined

Personally, I like just the grandparents to be at 1st Brithdays. Anything bigger and it just turns into a casual get together.

Have the grandparents over, put up some dollar store decorations, make a safe cake and let the birthday girl eat it while you snap some pictures.

You can have a BBQ later for everyone else.

It's hard enough having a little one, the allergy diagnosis makes it even more so.

Be kind to yourself so that you have the energy required to look after everyone else.

_________________
Moderator
Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy and green beans) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: Oral Allergy Syndrome, Allergic to Birch trees

They still have metro listed on their web-site, and I've seen their products in the metro near us. (Not the one called a birthday cake, but they did have a chocolate cake, cookies, and muffins.)

_________________
self: allergy to sesame seeds and peanuts
3 sons each with at least one of the following allergies: peniciilin, sulfa-based antibiotic, latex, insect bites/stings

I agree with Susan's suggestion of keeping it small and for immediate family. This is the first of many birthdays. What you serve and how you conduct the event will help those near and dear to learn what is best to do to keep your little one safe. Too many people could be too distracting, even overwhelming

My daughter is allergic to milk, eggs and nuts as well. I do her birthday parties with grandparents and invite other little kids within her age group within the family, such as cousin's kids etc. All I do is instruct everyone attending NOT to bring any food whatsoever, remind them of what my daughter's allergies are, and assure everyone that I will be responsible for all the food in the party. I keep a box of wipes by the door. Everyone coming in either washes their hands at the kitchen sink or grabs a wipe.

I make all the food for the kids, including the cake and all the food I make is safe for my daughter, free of milk, eggs, and nuts. It is possible to make good stuff that everyone enjoys, and for treat bags, I hit the dollar store. I limit food to only lunch and cake, but for goody bags and activities during the party, I go with stickers, crafts and little trinket toys, etc.

The last birthday party my little girl had a blast. We even had more adults than kids attend, even ones I did not tell about the party. I learned later that some people showed up out of curiousity to know how you could do a party for a kid who has multiple allergies. Everyone was pleasantly surprised, and even the food I cooked for the adults disappeared (very quickly I might add).

It was a big hit. Trust yourself, and have faith in your abilities. Allergy moms are a strong breed! And if you need any recipes or tips just drop me a line.

Noha

_________________
Daughter: ana to milk, eggs, peanuts, allergy to pet dander, asthma, eczema
Husband: ana to aspartame, shellfish, allergy to pet dander, eczema
Myself: asthma
http://www.allergymom.ca