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 Post subject: Advice Please!!!!
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:04 am 

Joined: Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:44 am
Posts: 1
Location: calgary
Could anyone please advise me on the best way to inform family members who just don't seem to get allergies and that they are life threatening!!!
I am really having difficulty explaining why my daughter who is 3 and has a severe nut/peanut allergy, cannot have bakery cakes or bulk candy ect....
I just find myself explaining over and over again. And that I have to constantly watch over my daughter and what she touches or eats since no reguard is made to food which is seved around her. My personal anxiety at these events is overwhelming. I try not to restrict my daughter from attending events and I always attend but family and some friends just don't understand and often debate me on it as to why she cannot eat some food items.
I am trying to teach my daughter to be aware for her own safety also and as of yet we cannot seem to meet many people who take this very seriously.
Thanks to everyone on this site and voicing their experiences it is really helpful.

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 6:28 am 
Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6616
Location: Ottawa
You might find the following post interesting. I warn you that it is about people who don't get it. ... sc&start=0

It is important to remember that there are four issues at work here. The first is the issue of anxiety. Because this is your child, you are anxious which means you are in a hightened state of awareness. You retain information better in this state and that is why you will learn about allergies quickly.

Second, you are living this 24/7 so you have much more experience than a relative who might see the child for 72 hours 2-3 times a year.

Thirdly, denial/acceptance/disbelief...there will always be a small number of people for whom this is so unbelievable that they simply can't grasp it. Perhaps they are working through the grieving process and haven't accepted that home baking as an expression of love is not in the future with this child. Perhaps they can't get past the fact that this is a seemingly wholesome food. Possibly they just resent being told what to do or not do.

Lastly as you read several of the threads in the Parenting section, you will see that even amongst parents, there are different comfort levels. It is important to determine what your comfort level is as the parents and guardiens of your child. You will need to try and educate those who come in contact with your child but...if they don't get it and if you don't trust them-keep an eye on them!

Teach your child to only eat foods which you and your spouse have checked. This I have found is the easiest/safest rule as it applies to all situations.

Here is an article Allergic Living magazine ran a while back

Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy and green beans) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: Oral Allergy Syndrome, Allergic to Birch trees

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:37 pm 

Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2007 9:01 pm
Posts: 69
Location: Ontario, Canada
I think there are some people who don't get it but I am confident reminding them time and again of my sons allergies. I try to focus on the positive experiences and remind myself of those in my life that are now more aware and sensitive to food allergies.

I have a very close family member who doesn't get it too so I can share your angst.

Jan, mom to 3 boys
DS#3 - eggs, cats, dust, eczema, avoiding nuts as a precaution
DS#2 - seasonal allergies
DS#1 - no allergies
Me & DH - seasonal allergies

 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2008 9:54 pm 

Joined: Sat Apr 01, 2006 11:21 pm
Posts: 78
Location: Connecticut, USA
Have them read this article that talks about a woman who had a life-threatening reaction from being at a wedding where there were bowls of nuts. She didn't eat any of the nuts but must have touched someone's hand who ate them and then touched her eyes, nose or mouth. ... 26968.html

It is your job to protect your child. That comes first. Everyone in the world might end up thinking you are crazy and you still must protect your child. I lost most of my local friends after my son was diagnosed but now I have new ones who take care of my son's allergies. It stunk having them all ditch me/not support me/think I was overboard. But my son is way more important than them.

My family also thought I was overboard and I had big problems but I kept educating them and eventually it worked out. It was very, very bad for a while. I ask for the basics with them--no peanuts, tree nuts or sesame at events and people to wash hands after eating (because he is also allergic to dairy and eggs.)

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