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PostPosted: Sun Aug 08, 2010 8:26 pm 

Joined: Mon Aug 24, 2009 6:24 pm
Posts: 62
Location: NB
Thanks for the feedback, I hadn't considered helping family learn to cook safely. It is something to think about, my close family is used to me bringing our own. This was a visit to my husbands extended family a few hours a way. It does create something negative when you won't eat someones food that they think is safe, and I never thought about educating those that were interested enough to learn to cook safely, and those that aren't would be more likely to let you bring your own with open arms. Always so many things to consider...

Son - Anaphylaxis to peanuts, treenuts, allergic to cats, dogs, grass & trees

PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 8:02 am 

Joined: Fri Oct 10, 2008 9:40 pm
Posts: 2034
Location: ottawa
It does create something negative when you won't eat someones food that they think is safe,

Jomatt, you did what you did to protect your son, bottom line. We never want to offend but if others' feel offended that is their issue and hopefully with enough explanations they will understand and put having a great visit with our kids over a bagel or bowl of noodles. Even if you were in a situation where you were able to help prep/cook food you STILL have the right to change your mind and not have your DS eat that food. Trust you gut and the bottom line is it is your son's and your decision.

This was a visit to my husbands extended family a few hours a way
I would think (in my opinion) that you would need to see family often for them to really grasp the allergy situation especially talking food prep. etc.. If I lived far from extended family which I didn't see that often I would still feel safest anyway to bring my DS his own food. It might be easier to just try bring a safe dessert or treat for everyone to share IF you have the advance warning.
I agree with you, there is always so much to consider and each situation makes me re-think things.

Right beside you allergy mama!! :huggy

DD 12 yrs -no allergies
4 yr old DS - asthma/eczema Anaphylactic to Peanuts, all tree nuts, sesame , all pea/lentil legumes, gelatin.
Allergic to trees, grass,ragweed, feathers, dander, mold and dust.
Outgrew eggs, fish, shellfish

PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 12:46 pm 

Joined: Mon Jul 05, 2010 11:37 am
Posts: 1526
Location: Alberta
Jomatt, I totally would have done the same as you. Thinking back through the years I am so glad that I have shown DD exactly how to react. Thx, but no thx. In fact the other day she came back from spending a few days at relatives who "get it" She was telling me how even though she had her own food (my really great home make pizza) she was offered repeatively, while visiting other people, food that the hostess said "I'm sure is safe". Here's the kicker, said hostess is a recently retired elementary teacher. At the school she just retired from, they have the "no p rule" no peanuts, no pets, no perfume. ??? Anyway, I said while discussing this when she came home "Some people feel bad when you can't share food" and her reply was "Well, that's too bad, but that's their issue." Then we hugged.

As we look forward to her independance I am very glad we have stuck to the rules. Over the years we have had a few reminders of how severe her reactions are, as emergencies can happen no matter how careful you are. (all of hers have been w/me except for one in the hospital).

I am very glad we never broke the rules while out and about. She has learned well from watching and listening to me all her life educating other people and it eases my mind now that she's out and about on her own in other peoples kitchens.

BC2007, you are so right about each situation being different.

Kids are always watching and learning. That's such a wonderful thing about them.


Myself - Seasonal, cats
dd-asthma (trigger - flu) anaphylactic to eggs, severe allergies to bugspray and penicilin,pulmicort
ds-Seasonal, cats and OAS
dh-allergy cats, bugspray and guava, outgrew egg allergy

PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2010 6:00 pm 
Site Admin

Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2005 11:17 pm
Posts: 6616
Location: Ottawa
After spending a month at my moms, there were many times when my brother would have liked to have had us over for dinner. His two daughters are a few years younger than my daughter and the kids adore each other.

He is aware enough to understand why we don't stay for meals. We did pack some sandwhiches and stay for lunch one time. We may eventually get to the point of eating dinner (in a few years and definately being involved in the food prep). I see him researching food allergies and asking questions about various items.

It means a lot to me that he gets it (even if he only gets that there is something to get).

It's a huge learning curve and they have to be receptive before we can teach. Try not to read much into their not getting it...they just aren't there yet. Thank them for the invite, but let them know that dining out takes a lot of planning and consideration.

Daughter: asthma, allergies to egg, milk, peanuts, tree nuts, most legumes (not soy and green beans) & penicillin. Developing hayfever type allergies.
Husband: no allergies
Me: Oral Allergy Syndrome, Allergic to Birch trees

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