Talking Allergies

saskmommy,
You have a good point there---and I don't think it helps children to deal with their allergies any if they are surrounded by people who do not take their condition seriously. The way that family members treat them will be the way that they will come to expect to be treated by others.

When I read your reply on God, I had to go take a walk and take a deep breath before I post something or I would have gone crazy on this thread. Yeah, Let's put our children's in arms way and see what God has in plan for them.

Since my children were diagnosed with food allergies, my mother in law has treated me like a paranoid lunatic for being careful. Its nice to see that other people agree with me and feel that she is the lunatic.

She invited our family to her house for thanksgiving. Obviously we are not going. She still thinks I'm crazy for not wanting to put my children in a room full of their allergens. "They need to learn to be around foods that they can't eat " she says. I just shake my head, yes someday they will need to understand this, but they are 4 and 2 and for now it is the resposibility of the adults around them to keep them safe. Thanksgiving will be a small intimate one this year, at my house, we me cooking.

On my recent trip to the er, for an allergic reaction to playdoh, I met a nice er doctor who opened my eyes to the world of food allergies from a different perspective. There are many allergic children who he sees come through the hospital doors on a regular basis.
Parents of milk allergic kids who "gave them a piece of cheese" because they wanted to see if they were still allergic come in regularily. He also sees kids whose parents left their allergens within their reach...again. He also sees kids whose parents don't carry an epipen because they can't afford to buy one every time their child reacts. Unfortuntately, social services doesn't consider repeted allergy related visits as neglect, no matter how frequent.

Its a scary thought to think that there are allergic kids out there living in neglegent homes. Mine are safe, but not all of them are.

That's why Sabrina's Law is so important--because it protects allergic children whose parents can't or won't advocate for them in the school system.

I bet that a lot of nonchalance about allergies on parents' part, though, comes from the fact that inadequate information is given to people who are allergic at the time of diagnosis. It seems that things are getting a lot better today, but when I was a kid, doctors just didn't know that much about allergies. When I started vomiting immediately after eating egg and soy for the first time my mother knew I was allergic but the doctor said...no...vomiting is not a sign of allergies. Until a few years ago, I didn't even realize that some of my "less severe" allergies--like to banana--should be regarded as potentially severe (an allergist wised me up to that one--but only because I reported having a reaction...he was shocked that I would even eat any). Up until the time that I moved to Toronto, all I was told is "don't eat egg" "don't eat nuts"---and when I was prescribed an epipen, I wasn't even shown how to use it. If parents are left on their own with no info., they could very well not take allergies seriously enough.

In my opinion, an Epipen (or any life saving medicine for that matter) should be given or subsidized for families who are not in a financial position to purchase it. No parent should ever have to choose between their child's basic needs and life saving medicine due to financial hardship. Like my son's doctor said the other day, it's so sad to see drug companies charging $100 for something that cost approx. $2 to put together.

They need to learn to be around foods that they can't eat

Where did I hear that before? Oh yeah, my stupid uncle had the same reaction when I was young. When I went over to his house, he always made a point to serve peanuts ot to be eating some. What an huh!!

No you are not the lunatic. Don't ever second guess yourself about the safety of your children. And if you are a lunatic, then I know someone who's worse: me.

Hang in there and don't cave. We are here for you when you need to vent.

My daughter's allergist is a real non alarmist too, to the extreme of being stupid. Thank goodness for her and I that I did a lot of research on my own. When my friend and I recently approached the school prinicipal about getting things in order around the school, he was "shocked" that we came to speak to him, as the parents of the other allergic children in the school hadn't. I doubt they don't care. I wonder just how much they know about their kids allergies and how best to protect them.

In my opinion, you can't be too paranoid or too careful.

Youngvader, I'd like to smack your uncle for you.

I also do believe that epi pens should be available to those who cannot afford it. Unfortunately, back to the neglegent parents issue, free epi pens does not necessarily promote the strict avoidance that I believe in. If they were free would more people take chances? Does having to pay $100 in the event of an accident encourage more people to be careful? If you are having to use an epipen on a regular basis, for accidents that could be prevented with a little caution, maybe the financial aspect would smarten some parents up.

Its a situation that isn't all black and white. Maybe they could be free, but also some more information on avoidance could be given to parents. I don't feel that my allergist really informed me, I just took matters into my own hands.

Before my daughter started preschool this year I wrote a letter to her teacher. I basically explained that in the case of allergies, their is a wide range of ways that parents deal with them. Their are parents who use caution and try their hardest to keep their kids safe and take all advise from anaphylaxis canada to heart. Their are also parents who are neglegent, or any where between. I was not the first allergy they have had in their school, but the first to really inform them of what is recommended by my allergists and other organizations who focus on allergy awareness. It helped alot. They don't think that I'm obsessive, and are encouraging other allergic kids to not share snack which is brought by other kids and bring their own each day as my daughter does. They don't actually say that I am the root of it, but they express their concern that the snacks at school are made in homes containing their allergens and they want to avoid reactions at school.

Do you want his address?

He's old and he'll die alone (no wife, no children) so life will take care of him.

When our daughter was born, a public health nurse came out to visit me after we'd been home a week or so. Perhaps the public heath nurse should visit parents of newly diagnosed chidren and talk to them about keeping the children safe at home?
I can't belive how people could deliberatley place a child in harms way. I find it very sad.

I like your idea of having a knowledgable public health nurse visit newly diagnosed parents.

The er doctor guy ( that shared the neglegent parent info with me ) has a daughter with anaphylaxis to some kind of insect sting, she almost died at a playground once, and they never knew what caused it. I think it was at least 10 years ago. She was rushed, clinging to life to the hospital, where he was the only doctor in the er and had to treat her. Talk about stressful! He sympathises with me, and understands my fears of trying new things with her. He also made a point of reminding me how lucky my daughter is to have me as a mom. Someday he'd make a great allergist.

My husband says your mother-in-law should be locked up!! You are doing the right thing in keeping your girls away from her - your poor man, it would be awful to have a mother like that. I hope your family is supportive of you and that you have good friends.

I thought my mother was bad...we all have allergies to cats and my son has anaphylaxis and asthma. She told me she was feeding a homeless cat, and that it had kittens. When we arrived for a 10 day visit this summer there were 11 cats in her backyard, and they had been allowed into the house until a few days before we arrived. ("...but I vaccuumed really well!"). The first night Aaron ended up in the hospital twice and we slept in the car until I decided to cut the visit short (She was annoyed with all the snotty kleenex we were accumulating all over the place).

We should have a contest over who has the best story!!

Can I participate in your contest? My ex mother-in-law used to sneak fish into my food in hopes I would not find out and see if I am really as allergist as I said. She always said they were "simple mistakes" and I actually believed her up to one point when I confronted her. The croutons look diffrent... the salad dressing has a different color this time... the sauce smells differently... always the little things I'm good at noticing and I would get up and read the ingredients and see mostly anchovies listed... and she'd just say "oops, forgot to read the ingredients, didn't think fish would be in that????". Good thing she wasn't that much of a cook, she wasn't the type to be able to add a few drops of this or that... just plain pre-packaged food right out of the package ... but at one point, there were too many mistakes, I stopped eating there! and she said she knew but didn't believe I could be THAT allergic . I met her a couple of years ago: turns out she's now anaphylactic to seafood... I don't really feel sorry for her .

Mylène

She is now allergic to seafood!!!! That made me laugh. Talk about "what goes around comes around."

I know its not nice to laugh at other peoples allergies, shame on me. Hope she doesn't read these posts.

you got it: What goes around come around . It's not nice to laugh at people, but sometimes it's worth it